It caused her in-laws a great deal of inconvenience and she had a big fight with her fiancé’s mother about it. She attached a note telling me how delighted she was to “surprise” me with the “great news”-she changed her wedding date especially for me so I can now attend! I called her asking what was going on and she confirmed she changed her wedding date because she really wants me to be there.
Then three days ago I received an invitation for her wedding, and it is two weeks after her original wedding date. I told her regretfully I won’t be able to make it, and she was hurt and upset. She spent a lot of money coming to my wedding in Tahiti so I really wanted to come to hers, except it falls on my due date. Friend Changed Her Wedding Date for Me but I Don’t Want To Attend: My friend is engaged and her wedding will be held five hours’ drive from where I am. How do I convince my brother that engaging this family on this topic is a lose-lose proposition for everyone? He claims he’s only defending himself and his partner when the in-laws bring up the topic. As noxious as these comments are, my bigoted in-laws would never mention them if my brother and his partner didn’t broach the topic. Comments from my brother-in-law’s family such as “homosexuals are living a sinful life,” “the gay agenda is destroying this country,” and “if I ever found out one of my kids were gay, I’d never speak to him again” are the beginning of the end. That’s OK, but the problem is that my brother is gay and insists on discussing politics with my brother-in-law’s family. Politically, they are much more “severely” conservative than Mitt Romney claimed he was. My sister’s husband’s side of the family has made a recent tradition of inviting themselves to our family dinner at my mom’s house. We used to look forward to Thanksgiving, now we dread it. Thanksgiving Hell: My family is getting ready for our annual Thanksgiving dinner. If he doesn’t accept this, you might want to consider calling in a marriage counselor to be by your side telling you to push, and telling your husband to shape up. Then have a meeting with your OB and your husband. He or she should be happy to put rules into place about who can attend the happy event. If your husband can’t understand his loyalty here is to you, you should discuss this with your obstetrician. But no pregnant woman should be forced to have people lurking in the doorway marking the territory. Other women want their loved ones at home ready to get an alert of the good news. Some pregnant women want a cheering section in the hospital waiting room. She obviously has a lot more work to do to come to terms with her condition, but you are not her therapist. While it’s sad your sister-in-law is dealing with infertility, you are not the surrogate mother for her child. Things need to get straightened out in your family. Am I being unreasonable to want her to stay away from the hospital? I am now having nightmares about my SIL snatching the baby away as soon as I’m wheeled out of the delivery room!Ī: Your letter makes me hear those staccato violins that are the soundtrack to so many horror movies. I tried reasoning with my husband, but he says I should be appreciative because his sister loves our baby so much. My SIL is now upset with me and says I have no right to stop her from waiting outside the delivery room. I explained that when I was in labor, I didn’t really want to think about anybody else and that I would call her when I was ready to receive visitors. Several days later she said she really wanted to be there and be the first to see our baby and stated she would wait outside my room. I again reiterated my desire for privacy.
She relented, and suggested staying with me while I was in labor and leaving the room when the baby started coming out. I was horrified and told her I wanted to have privacy. Recently she told me she really wants to be there at the delivery room when I give birth. She has been in regular contact with me throughout my pregnancy to a point where I found her attention a little overwhelming. My SIL is infertile yet she loves babies and children. SIL’s Unwelcome Intrusion in the Delivery Room: I am expecting my first baby and having problems with my SIL.